i AM myself
I hate looking myself in the mirror,I hate knowing I have fear.
I hate seeing what isn't there,I hate feeling that I am scared.
I hate believing what isn't true,I hate believing and trusting you.
I hate crying myself to sleep,
Forgive me for I have dreams.
I feel left out and all alone,With no one to call my own.
My eyes are red and I cry blood,
Please help me or I'll cry a flood.
My friends see what I let them see,
If they only could see the true side of me.
And as I die inside with pain,
Please don't think that I'm insane.
Cause believe it or not I have a heart,
That's been slowly torn apart
Cant you see that i love you so?
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
cont...how time flies...
playin now - big big world...
i wonder if i have grown up after going thru so much...
after all the argueing n scolding i get at hm...
all the trash i get at cannoeing...
all the choices tat i've to make...
all tat i've cried over for...all tat i've thinking...
have i learnt my lesson?
i dunno...
sarah is giving up national...without her taking part is meaningless for mi...
i tot abt it for a long time b4 i decided to be selfish n ask her to stay...
but i feel tat she has already decided le...
i really dunno...
i hate making choices...
if i quit i think i'm being very iressponsible to the team n to myself...
but i have to be responsible to my studies rite...
after all tat is wat im aiming for in the A level....
haiz...recently i have finally took out the puzzel to complete it...
yes its all framed up now...
to think abt it i 've been ill treating it all tis while...
i hope the one who receives it will treat it well...
well...tis puzzel was bought at the begining of the yr with the tot of someone in mind....
but i guess i was too buzy to even get started with it...
it was nt completed on time....
when i finally got down to doing it...b4 it was even finished...i stop..cos busy again...
i think i shld have got the sign then...it was never meant to be done...
cos on several occasions...i was so angry or upset tat i smashed it....
eventually i picked up the pieces...n begin puttin them back again...
but yet again the same thing happend b4 it was completed...
as i sat down n started to piece everyhting...
i realised it wld never be the same again...
the feeling of doing was different...even when it was completed...
when i was told tat they were together...i dunno y...but i felt very sour...
n once again i refused to let tat feeling show..
i onli came to realise how little i meant to u...even after all tis time...i cld nt get over u....
seeing u n her at first i did nt think much abt it...
cos i believed in u...
but i didn't noe u got over it so fast....
i told myslef to forget abt it....its over...it will be history....
but seeing how much u do for her...n seeing her i haf to smile....
i dun even noe y i'm putting myself thru these miseries...
while doing the puzzel...many tots came back to mi...
it all seem to mi tat u were nt the kind of person i tot u were...
wat u have done juz crashed ur image tat i haf of u...
yes...tears of saddness juz fell...
is the sadness worth...
is the heartbreak worth...
are the tears tat i have shed worth...
it was nt meant to be...
it shld nt have even begin...
wat am i putting myself through...
haven't i done enuf harm myself....
am i nt being nice enuf....
dun all the plastic smiles count....
lastly is my confession....
i've some to realised onli how much u meant to mi after u left..
i let my pride rule mi...n i juz let u go by....
now it all too late to say all these...
u are gone n there is no way i can have u back by mi...
yes i regret y din i say smth to stop u then...
but now seeing tat u have moved on n found ur happiness...
maybe its time tat i put all the past behind....
time will heal...i hope its true...
time will heal....
the origin.11:09 PM
i AM myself
alicia ang
19 yrs old
28th July 88
smps, hscs, tpjc, SIM- economic n management
likes:)
swimming, jogging, cycling, bladding, canoeing
reading, listening to music, dancing
chilling out with my friends
tpjc canoeing team ROCK!!!
tpjc 05S04 ROCK!!!
SIM Dragons rocks!!!
dislikes:(
ppl who are nt straight forward
ppl who pretend to be who they are not
being the middle person
being taken for granted
being left out
**wish list**
to get gd A-level results (my foot!))
to have FUN
to get a job ( ntuc Lhub)
to get my driving licence (got it)
to get my bag (been wanting to do so since the begining of the yr)
to chill out with my friends
to go clubbing as and when i like(like its ever possible)
to get into uni( got into one)
to be HAPPY (it has been so long since i'm really happy)
my voice
taggie
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