i AM myself
I hate looking myself in the mirror,I hate knowing I have fear.
I hate seeing what isn't there,I hate feeling that I am scared.
I hate believing what isn't true,I hate believing and trusting you.
I hate crying myself to sleep,
Forgive me for I have dreams.
I feel left out and all alone,With no one to call my own.
My eyes are red and I cry blood,
Please help me or I'll cry a flood.
My friends see what I let them see,
If they only could see the true side of me.
And as I die inside with pain,
Please don't think that I'm insane.
Cause believe it or not I have a heart,
That's been slowly torn apart
Cant you see that i love you so?
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
tuesday 6/6
today was so tiring...
hehe...i actually got to be a typical 'housewife' for a day...
went to the market this morning to get meat, duck and fish to prepare dinner....
felt a bit stupid cos i mistook a garouper for a seabass...opps....
then bought breakfast for my bro...
then came home...did the laundry...
played badminton with my bro and coached him...homework...
after which i prepare lunch..
then finally when he was in tuition i got 2 hrs to study...
in the evening...got to cook dinner..n i think i took kinda long...
still i was pleased with the outcome...
the fish n soup turned out quite well...
hehe...proud of myself...
after tat got to clean up the house...i even went to wash the toilet la....
ya finally...check my bro work...
n now...i finally have time to rest...
see...like a housewife taking care of everything...
haha....
anyway...good news...MY PARTNER IS BACK....
yes sarah is finally back to row with mi...i'm happy...n glad to have her back...
though i'll miss huiying...her extremly damn loud laughters n screams....
juz had a chat with sarah...n as always...she could always tell wat i was thinking...n wat was bothering mi....
i think i'll let her know the truth tmr...cos i juz told a lie...
yes its about tat...
can't deny tat i do think abt it at times....
okay..tts all for today..got to study le...
tmr still got to wake up early cos got training...
somemore at 6 la...then training not many people so sure damn tiring...
bette hope i dun die from tmr training....
haha
ur back at last...
the origin.12:06 AM
Sunday, June 04, 2006
sunday4/6
earlier tis morning juz wrote an entry...
boring day sia...
despite slping at 3 plus tis morning...i was awake by 8...
ya...a bit lack of slp but...still alive...
today was damn slack la...
studied onli bio...was so slow....
okay...dimn reali have the mood after coaching my bro maths n science in the morn...
haha...feel kinda bad for raising my voice so often...
tried very hard to concentrate...yet keep gettin distracted...
keep wonderring if its right for mi to stay in cannoeing...
yes i admit its nice rowing with huiying...but i reali reali miss sarah...
there is tis bond n feeling between us tat no one can replace...which i can't describe in words too...
hai...
yeh...there is still chem tmr...shall slp eearly...
someone pls tell mi wat to do...
the origin.11:58 PM
sunday 4/6
haiz..finally have time to blog...
its been a long n tiring wk...
let see...on thurs (1/6) we had chem-gp-chem...
chem was au usual...ms khoo singing lullaby...can slp la...
we onli finished the revision quiz...
then have to go for gp...
the next chem session...nobody went...so onli i go...
so pai seh.. i'm the onli one la...
but nevermind...i learnt quite a bit...especially to think fast...
then went to eat lunch with melissa n choo...
after sending nick to tuition...walked ard east point for a while b4 going to study...
2/6....woke up late...n was late for the collection of maths paper....
the marks are so damn dissapointing la....
its like for the first time i studied so hard then get this kind of results....
my maths has never been lower then this b4 la...
sad....
all the careless mistakes really killed mi tis time...
i think i can juz go n kill myself... hai..sad sia...
after tat still got to strggle on whether to go for trng a nt...
went in the end n took k2 with huiying...
althought we were progressing better thena expected...
i still fill smth is amiss...maybe is because of sarah....
(why did u leave mi when i needed u the most.....)
sat 3/6...
went for trng in the morning...wass a bit late due to the new route tat we take...
then we chiong quite a bit...
got a lot of ppl...so damn unstable...
then very sian today cos both mi n huiying did nt slp well...
so all in all...trng kinda sux for us....
so rush hm to change for church...
haha...today the let us watch sky high...
lesson- be who u are...everyone is precious n special in their own way in god's eye...
yes...n sermon was so meaningful...it really touched mi deeply...
it was as though god knew wat was troubling mi...n he was like speaking to mi....
it felt great knowing god is always there for us...
have been doin the laundry n ironing n cooking...
kinda sian n my body is aching like shit...but still i'm nt alsp...
okay...i better get some slp...will updat whenever i can....
where are u when i need u....
the origin.2:39 AM
i AM myself
alicia ang
19 yrs old
28th July 88
smps, hscs, tpjc, SIM- economic n management
likes:)
swimming, jogging, cycling, bladding, canoeing
reading, listening to music, dancing
chilling out with my friends
tpjc canoeing team ROCK!!!
tpjc 05S04 ROCK!!!
SIM Dragons rocks!!!
dislikes:(
ppl who are nt straight forward
ppl who pretend to be who they are not
being the middle person
being taken for granted
being left out
**wish list**
to get gd A-level results (my foot!))
to have FUN
to get a job ( ntuc Lhub)
to get my driving licence (got it)
to get my bag (been wanting to do so since the begining of the yr)
to chill out with my friends
to go clubbing as and when i like(like its ever possible)
to get into uni( got into one)
to be HAPPY (it has been so long since i'm really happy)
my voice
taggie
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