i AM myself
I hate looking myself in the mirror,I hate knowing I have fear.
I hate seeing what isn't there,I hate feeling that I am scared.
I hate believing what isn't true,I hate believing and trusting you.
I hate crying myself to sleep,
Forgive me for I have dreams.
I feel left out and all alone,With no one to call my own.
My eyes are red and I cry blood,
Please help me or I'll cry a flood.
My friends see what I let them see,
If they only could see the true side of me.
And as I die inside with pain,
Please don't think that I'm insane.
Cause believe it or not I have a heart,
That's been slowly torn apart
Cant you see that i love you so?
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
today's post is a bit depressing i guess....
its been a few days since i blog...
the weekends were horribly spent...
well the chemistry test on sat was kinda ok...
manage to get thru it...
then went for lunch, jy daph n hongrui went to eat a pasta...mi a nd amanda too broke so settled for food court...
want to study at daph place but in the end decided to go home...
went for church...
then in the night got another earful from my mother....
say i'm nt studying so on and so forth...
realli got kinda pissed...
sunday wanted to go swimming to vent my frustrations...
but woke up in the morning to find it raining...then it din stop until in the afternoon la...
stayed at home n mug..mug...mug...
then in the evening went to run...
i was so frustrated so ran n ran nt knowingly i covered 3.5km....
haha...well muscle ache lor...
but it felt great la...
monday pe for 4 periods straight la...haha
played soccer...
its the last session...but the other class onli got 2 person showed up..
so in the end, end up playing against ourselves...
for 2 periods soccer, then went to play netball, then a bit of vollyball...
then finally badminton...
so hiong sia...it was reali sports day for the class...
haha...
then in the afternoon studied abit onli then got tuition....
still got to complete a gp essay...
hai..stayed up the night to do it la...
so finally today...
wats interestinfg was wat happened at the end of the day...
regan n some year 1 bengs nearly got into a fight...
but it was reali hilarious to watch cos the bengs behavious were damn funnie...haha
they were picking on little things n were so childish...
behaving like some no brainer...haha...more like normal tech bengs who go ard picking fights...
pls...grow up la...i really wonder how did such ppl make it to jc...
well...i saw my maths test results today...
was really dissapointing...
felt totally like a fool...
actually i studied quite hard for it...in the end i still failed...
it was really upseting ...
especially when someone said to mi tat maybe i have nt worked hard enough n tat i shld work harder....
worst of all...
someone also said :dunno y u study so hard but always score so badly....
i noe ur don't mean it in a bad way but i juz feel terible hearing all these lor...
realli i begin to wonder study so hard for wat...
in the end still lydat...
i realli dunno wat to do already...
realli feel like giving it all up...
sometimes it reali too much for me to bear...
lately i've lost the will to study...
too much is on my mind...
i reali cannot concerntrate...
i begin to question everything...
y is life so complicated...
hope i will be able to find the answer soon....
i think i have done smthin wrong...
it was a mistake i could have prevented...
yet i chose to avoid it...
thinking tat things will resolve by itself...
this has nearly cost me a dear freindship...
is there anyway i can make up for it...
someone tell mi wat to do pls...
lost...depressed...
the origin.12:18 AM
i AM myself
alicia ang
19 yrs old
28th July 88
smps, hscs, tpjc, SIM- economic n management
likes:)
swimming, jogging, cycling, bladding, canoeing
reading, listening to music, dancing
chilling out with my friends
tpjc canoeing team ROCK!!!
tpjc 05S04 ROCK!!!
SIM Dragons rocks!!!
dislikes:(
ppl who are nt straight forward
ppl who pretend to be who they are not
being the middle person
being taken for granted
being left out
**wish list**
to get gd A-level results (my foot!))
to have FUN
to get a job ( ntuc Lhub)
to get my driving licence (got it)
to get my bag (been wanting to do so since the begining of the yr)
to chill out with my friends
to go clubbing as and when i like(like its ever possible)
to get into uni( got into one)
to be HAPPY (it has been so long since i'm really happy)
my voice
taggie
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