i AM myself
I hate looking myself in the mirror,I hate knowing I have fear.
I hate seeing what isn't there,I hate feeling that I am scared.
I hate believing what isn't true,I hate believing and trusting you.
I hate crying myself to sleep,
Forgive me for I have dreams.
I feel left out and all alone,With no one to call my own.
My eyes are red and I cry blood,
Please help me or I'll cry a flood.
My friends see what I let them see,
If they only could see the true side of me.
And as I die inside with pain,
Please don't think that I'm insane.
Cause believe it or not I have a heart,
That's been slowly torn apart
Cant you see that i love you so?
Monday, October 02, 2006
hehe...wk if u are reading this...thanks for the concern...
well its been quite some time since i last blog or came online...haha
anyway time really flies n now its only one month away from the A-levels...muz work hard...its the last burst i guess...
a lot happened in the past week...
got back almost all of my results...
which i'm totally dissapointed with...
although i know i won't do well but still it was shocking...
its ike F F F.. close to tat la...
its the worst result tat i have ever gotten in my whole life as a student...
my grades are dropping like crazy...
the results juz hit mi right in the face...
( dunno isit a wake up call or to face reality....)
but those horrendous results juz totally consumed mi when i saw them...
couldn't control my emotions....
the dissapointment in not meeting my own expectations n worst my mother's...
they all expect mi to fair well in sch...i really dunno wat to tell them abt it...well guess i'll get more than an earful from then this time round...
still i'm thankful for the comfort n support tat Pauline has given mi...
she'll always be there when i needed her...
thank you...i won't give up so easily....
but so wat if i dun do well in the prelims...
y waste my time wallowing in self pity ...waste my tears...
ok...so take a few mintues to cry over the bad results but after tat should juz move on...
while i'm crying ppl are making use of the time to study...
tats the way it shld be...optimise every minute tat i have now...
then at church tat day...god showed mi tat no matter how terrible things are he has always been by my side...
never once did he leave mi or forsake mi...
its mi who distanced myself from him...
'come to the father, though ur gift is small,
broken hearts n broken lifes,
he will take them all,
the power of the words,
the power of his love,
everything was done so you would come'
i found my strenght to be brave all the obstacles tat are gonna come my way...it suddenly made sense to mi wat mr tan was driving at tat day...
tat nothing is so bad tat theree is no way out...
there is always a way round it...
its not the end of the world when we dun do well...
there is always another alternative route to take...
so...yes...
life is short...so since i am in sch now so juz do the best tat i can...
should not worry about the results..juz study...
dun let what has happened affect mi...
haiya...at home things are nt peaceful also...
my aunty having problems with her husband...
i really dun understand y husbands like to cheat on their wives so much... really dun understand...
i dun mean all husbands are like tat but those around mi happended to be like tat n i dun see y...
haiz...
then mummy is having terrible mood swings i think...
every weekend she is throwing her temper...
dunno wat to say to her too...
well...long entry i know...
but wat to do..all my thoughts i can't tell to anyone but write on the blog...
so bloggie hope u understand...
jia you...
the origin.1:04 AM
i AM myself
alicia ang
19 yrs old
28th July 88
smps, hscs, tpjc, SIM- economic n management
likes:)
swimming, jogging, cycling, bladding, canoeing
reading, listening to music, dancing
chilling out with my friends
tpjc canoeing team ROCK!!!
tpjc 05S04 ROCK!!!
SIM Dragons rocks!!!
dislikes:(
ppl who are nt straight forward
ppl who pretend to be who they are not
being the middle person
being taken for granted
being left out
**wish list**
to get gd A-level results (my foot!))
to have FUN
to get a job ( ntuc Lhub)
to get my driving licence (got it)
to get my bag (been wanting to do so since the begining of the yr)
to chill out with my friends
to go clubbing as and when i like(like its ever possible)
to get into uni( got into one)
to be HAPPY (it has been so long since i'm really happy)
my voice
taggie
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